How Nina Lost to Win

Initially, Nina is pure and dedicated, swathed in pretty pinks and grays, which expose her untouched, unscarred naiveté to the audience. Then we see the scratches on her back, the first to mar her delicate purity. We feel her horror as she yanks out her hangnail at the announcement of her starring role in Swan Lake, and cringe when she cracks her toenail during a particularly intense series of pirouettes. The scars on her back deepen and spread until finally, her dark side—the black swan—literally bursts through her flesh and consumes her. 

 

At first, what was jarring to me was the fact that no one noticed what was going on with Nina. I realized, however, that the reason why no one was concerned—except for Nina’s mother, who was the only one who saw her daughter in her most vulnerable state—was because no one was trying to harm her. Lily was simply to trying to be a supportive friend, Tomas was just really committed to making his show the best it could be (even his creepy sexual advances were meant to help her performance, to help her break past the creativity-stifling confines of her innocence), and despite initial tension between Nina and Veronica, the other ballerinas were just doing their jobs. Yet, Nina immediately believes that everyone is out to get her. As Nim quoted, “The only person standing in your way is you. You need to let her go. Lose yourself.” But then Nina proceeds to the stage, where, as she is being lifted into the air amidst the other dancers, she sees herself glaring back at her from every direction. 

Nina resorts to blaming everyone for barring her from perfecting her role, but she never understands that the only person who needs to change is herself. And change she does, but every fiber in Nina’s rigid body fights that change because Nina is so used to strict routines and regimens that the freeing spontaneity of the role ends up tearing her apart. Even after her inner black swan broke free of her restraints, Nina is still the perfectionist we saw in the beginning, as the last words we hear from her are, “I felt it. Perfect. It was perfect.” Her idea of victory all along was a flawless performance, which she achieved, but was it really worth everything that she lost?

-Ly